Blog Image

The FlowStyler Articles

Who’s your biggest fan?

Success Curveballs Posted on 22 Nov, 2016 04:05PM

I just went through my old sketches and drawings. There are only a few from the 80’s and 90’s but more so from 2006 onwards when I started to tune into myself and allow myself to connect to my Flows, especially my passion for the creative world .

Some of us find it harder than others to allow themselves to do what they truly want to become. Not surprisingly. A lot depends on what influences we have been around us growing up and throughout school, societal expectation play a role too as do family values and beliefs among others. Other times it is our fears that hold us back, lack of belief in oneself, self- doubt or resistance but also not being encouraged to listen to our inner voice when making career and life decisions. When we don’t know how important our inner voice (inner compass/gut feeling/…or whatever you call it) is for our happiness factor and living a life in our Flow we can get side tracked into compromising our true and unique dreams and aspirations.

Who’s on your team?

It takes courage to do your thing in any case (we don’t live in a bubble) so any help on the way is greatly welcome. The late Patrick Swayze once said in an interview how his mother’s encouragement and belief in him kept him going for his dream. It is important to find a team around you that supports you and encourages you to fulfil your dreams and aspirations. We might not all have families who support us but that does not mean we cannot find support and encouragement elsewhere.

Accept encouragement

We all need people, especially in the beginning of our journey to believe in us, however we also need to recognize and accept the encouragement which can also be a challenge. I have had several important people at pivotal moments in my life who have encouraged and believed in me to push myself to the next level. Applying for my teenage dream of doing a Foundation in Art and Design was one of those times…a dear creative friend managed to see some of my illustrated characters and thought they were great…and off I went to apply and got in.

Your biggest fan

Cultivating self-belief is therefore so important. Tony Robbins says the first person to believe in you should be you. I think there definitely is truth in that. We cannot let others determine for us what we can or can’t do. This is where connecting to your inner wisdom is so important and knowing yourself comes to play. Understanding what you are great at and what your weaknesses are.You already have all the information inside you to know what it is you are meant to do. It is a matter of quieting down and listening or allowing yourself to listen and sift through the noise of the world and the opinions of others and go out there and explore it. You should be your biggest fan. We cannot always rely on others to big us up. We need to cultivate the unfaltering self-belief that we can do things if we put our head and heart into it and will not let ourselves down.

Who’s opinion matters?

We can’t do everything alone, however so once you have found your answers within you can seek the support of others. We are pretty good at coming up with the pitfalls ourselves so really need constructive feedback and encouragement on our journey. We therefore need to be clear on who we do let in to support us, especially in those vulnerable starting moments when we are still unsure if this is the way forward for us. At such times of change we can also feel more vulnerable and have our confidence rocked easier. It is therefore really important to steer away from negative people, especially those who have not achieved their personal goals or who have lost faith in their own dreams.

It is hard enough to follow your dreams so build a supportive team around you. I once spoke to a successful entrepreneur who told me she only shares hear business goals and dreams with a very select few until things came to fruition. Wisely so I think. Many times when we lack confidence or feel unsure we can attract exactly what we don’t want more of in our lives – negative comments – and this will only add to the sense of low security in ourselves in that moment. For me setting up a creative meetup that ran a year before I had even dreamt of actually going for my Foundation in art and design was the solution. Here I was surrounded by like-minded creative minds discussing art, our works and getting constructive feedback.

So, set up your own team or review who is on your team at the moment. Who else do you want on your team? What are the criteria’s these members have had to pass to get on your team? Who is a specialist in the filed you are looking into? And who has done it successfully before you?

Autumn greetings to you with love,

Petra xx

” I’m the woman who helps Lawyers find their Career passion & purpose back ”. Empowering Lawyers who are ‘this close’ to quitting their job OR who feel disheartened by the lack of passion & purpose in their lives to’ Find & Follow their Career Flow’ , find direction, work/life balance & create a career around their unique potential & passion one easy step at a time.

READ MORE on Linked IN

Tips on how to progress your Career (in or outside the legal field)

Success Curveballs Posted on 18 Aug, 2016 06:08PM

Progressing your career

This is an insightful article on ‘How to Progress your
career’ by Eduardo Reyes for those who are starting their careers in the legal
field but also those wanting to move up in their chosen career.

The advice is somewhat surprising however. Finding out what you want was categorized under the header of ‘Taking Risk’. This is interesting as in my eyes this is a MUST not a risk. When we embark on the journey of finding out what we want to do as our career the ultimate goal for anyone seeking a successful, empowered and happy life is to understand what it is they want, what their passions and talents are. Without this knowledge our compass is connected to outside forces and not what we want. And trust me ALL of us have the knowledge inside us to know what we want. It is just a matter of Finding and Following it and that yes does take some work, self-analysis and asking that all important question , over and over again: What do I want (out of my career/private/life/hobbies/relationships etc..)?

The most powerful and successful people are those who follow their ‘gut’ or feeling or whatever you call this inner compass. But to know what you want you need to go inwards…and no there is no risk involved. In fact this is our saviour. The more we understand about ourselves the stronger we become in directing our life to the’right’ direction and the ‘right ‘success for you.

Some of the tips in the article can be applied to any career:
• Figure out what you want
• Stay true to yourself-always
• Self-awareness is key
• What are my strengths and weaknesses
• What are my interests and passions
• Do the research & Set goals
• Make a move – Action it!
• Don’t be afraid to try things (secondments are great as are extracurricular activities)
• Your personality is key – make sure you understand yourself
• Focus and Specialize in the field that draws you in(not your weaknesses)
• Build long lasting relationships
• Focus on the HOW not the WHAT
• Take calculated risks (it prepares you for the next level )
• Keep a work/life balance…you can’t get to the top by sprinting!

The earlier we start (or are encouraged to start) to think for ourselves and cultivate and analyse what we are interested in and great at, the quicker we find to that optimal career for us.

TIP: List your strengths and interests. Keep these for your records and refer back to them as you grow in clarity. Strengths and Interests are the ones you need to cultivate and expand on – NOT your weaknesses and the things you think you’should ‘do because they financially make sense or others think make sense to do. Knowing yourself creates the trust in yourself that you can at any moment in your career make those best choices that get you where you want to go!

Petra xx

To read the full article go here:

Eight tips for when things don’t go to plan

Success Curveballs Posted on 26 Jun, 2016 12:16PM

despite our best efforts things just don’t work out the way we anticipated and
planned them and in these situations it is easy to let the circumstances
dictate our mood and behaviour; Revert to catastrophic thinking, self-blame,
blaming others and circumstances and just let our fears play havoc. In this
state we are not in the best mind-set to make optimal decision.

A few months
back I had a week were it seemed everything was not going to
plan. By the end of the week I started to get frustrated and overwhelmed with
not just one thing but ‘everything’ not working out (or so my mind though). I
noticed myself getting irritable, found it difficult to make decisions and
worried I had made the wrong ones. What was happening was that I was letting
the external circumstance clog up my mind with worry and worry in return block
my access to my inner wisdom and Flow.

The first
step thus is to notice that the circumstance have now affected our mood and
behaviour, spot what is building up in our minds, and then help ourselves back
to our calmness & centeredness, where we can start to solve any problems,
through tapping back to our wisdom. Once I realised this I reverted to my strategy
for ‘when things don’t go to plan
’ to get my mind back on track.

Having a ‘when
things don’t go to plan’ strategy pre-planned ahead of time and preferably
written down with a Step by Step guide in place (and also knowing where to find
it quickly) is really useful. Planning this ahead of time will give you a
smoother ride through the troubled waters and also give you the brainpower to
focus on what to do better next time.

Below I
have collated a list of tools I have found really useful in circumstances when
the mind has taken over.

Writing it
down (the good and the bad)

Many times in
situations like these we are told to only write down the good things that are
also happening in our lives. I disagree with this. Writing down the problems
releases our brain of the negatives and sheds light on them enabling us to
question the reality of these thoughts. Sometimes we might have just ruminated
about something without real proof or point and worked ourselves up into a
panic. Having them ‘outed’ on paper will put them to rest and out of your mind.

So start by
jotting your areas of worry down on one piece of A4 paper. Don’t go into too
much detail just give them short headlines. On the reverse of the sheet do the
same with all the good things that are happening in your life, the big and the
small in all areas of our life. Because the truth is – there always is goodness
happening we sometimes just fail to notice it. Once they are securely visible
on paper this enables your subconscious mind to free itself of the internal
negative monologue swirling around unchecked & question their validity and
focus on the positives.

Put things
into Perspective

Look at the
A4 sheet with all the problem headings. Is this the end of the world? Will you
still worry about it when you are 70? If the answer is No, which it usually is,
this can be another way to relax those brain cells and let the solutions flow
back in.


When we are
stressed or worried the natural reaction of our brain is to focus on the
problems and forget that you do have all the solutions in you to any problem.
But to be able to get to the solutions our minds need to calm down. When we are
in a tricky situation it can be easy to let the focus be on the problems.

Once you have
written them down turn the page and further
expand on the positives
that are happening in your life. Writing it
down is part of the solution. Really
immerse yourself in all the good ‘ the big and small’ in all areas of your

Now turn back
to the problem side. What solutions could you find to each header? Go through
each one at a time. What would be the easiest thing to action? Give me three solutions for each

Focus on
the goal at hand

Once we have
started to create solutions the next step is to focus on creating small and
doable action steps we can take forward quickly, which will get the ball ..or
should I say.. the brain back running again at optimal speed.

Find the
good in the situation

Now this one
can be pretty difficult but is possible!!Following on from the above exercise
go back to the problem page and under each header write the good that can come out of these
. What you can learn and how you can work it out better
next time.

are good too

If everything
goes smoothly all the time, it can be argued that then there are no contrasts
of the opposite experience and we can become complacent and take things for
granted. When tough situations or just small problems arise we can also see
them as reminders of what we DO have and have had so far and that it is
possible to get back there as we already skilfully managed to do.

This will
ourselves that the situation is not permeant and things will start moving again
soon in the direction we intended helps matters. Close your eyes and breathe
deeply in and out. So powerful. Repeat to yourself: ‘I am a success. Things work out for me with ease. I now
relax and open the door to my wisdom. The right answer come to me with ease’
This is you telling your mind to relax and believe things will be all right.
And they are all right we just have let our mind take over in this moment of
upheaval. Speaking to your mind with kindness and affirmations enables the door
indeed to be opened back to your wisdom. Try it!

In life as we
know things pass. Situations resolve themselves one way or another. Keeping
this in mind is helpful as it allows you to go back to focusing on the bigger
picture and not leave everything else aside while this crisis is happening.

Time out

And when I
say time out I mean it. This is a skill to be practised and is within
everybody’s reach. Even when things are really tough, finding a safe space you
can go to and take some time off everything that is happening is so beneficial
to our mind I cannot recommend it highly enough. These days research confirms
that Stress in itself is a choice so why not use this approach here too. It can
be your choice not to lug your troubles with you all the time. I give you permission to do it and let

Starting this
exercise at times when things are running smoothly paves the way for it to work
in crisis even better as we are prepared. For me walking, cycling or my
exercise time is a place where no troubles are allowed to enter, in any state
of mind. Immersing oneself in pleasurable activity is also a way of releasing
the brain form the throes of a crisis. Even though I do not advise to watch TV
sometimes this can be ‘foot in the door’ to let our brains be distracted from
the problem and enable our strategies to get rolling.

All the above
paves the way for you to release your mind from the throes of a problem
situation enabling you to faster revert back to your natural, healthy
functioning where solutions come to you with ease and you have access to your
inner wisdom and solutions.

What is/will
your strategy be when things don’t work out the way you planned?

Have a lovely
start to the summer.

Petra xx

Next »